Monday, August 27, 2012

Thoughts: The Guy of Your Dreams.

What should the guy you marry someday be like? Here's a list I made, in no particular order:

1. He will not make fun of you.  He will build you up and edify you.  If something you are doing is wrong, he will criticise you gently for your own good - not to make himself feel better.
2. He will appreciate you.
3. He will talk good about you in your presence as well as your absence.
4. He will care about you.
5. He will be respectful of your feelings.  We all make mistakes, but he will never try to purposely hurt you.
 6. He will know that you alone are the girl he is dating/courting/married to, and will purposely divert his eyes from other women.7. He will be secure and confident in himself.  He will be whole without you.  In other words,  yes, you can be an example, but no, you cannot be in a relationship with someone and hope he'll change.  That's his and God's job - not yours.
8. He will not cheat on you.
9. He will not manipulate you.
10. He will think of your needs above his own
 11. He will be a hard worker, if he is able.12. He will respect his own body.  He will not drink constantly, drive too fast, take drugs, or smoke.  If he does, he will need to change this in himself before being with you.
13. He will never, ever, EVER hit you.

14. He will be honest with you.  He will not lie or try to hide things from you.
15. He will be trustworthy.
16. He will protect you.
17. He will take responsibility for what he's done and not blame you.
18. He will be kind to you and to others.
19. He will be monogamous.  He will not need constant attention from other girls except you.
20. He will love you for so much more than your body - he will love you for your mind, spirit, and Godliness because he will not be able to find a duplicate of you  in any other woman.
21. He will be attracted to everything about you.
22. He will be your friend.
23. He will be wise.
24. He will be virtuous now, even if he wasn't always.
25. He will not curse.
26. He will be able to wait until marriage to be physical with you.  If you don't want to hold hands, snuggle, kiss, or do anything else that makes you feel uncomfortable, he will not push you or make you feel stupid for cherishing yourself.  In fact, this man will strive to keep you pure in case you have a moment of weakness (note, however, that with raging hormones in teenagers, you two might want to agree to date in groups and with your family to prevent temptation on either side).
27. He will be consistent around everyone - including his friends.
28. He will protect all women and children.
29. He will be brave.
30. He will not talk vulgarly or about gross things.
31. He will be patient.
32. He will not be a troublemaker.
33. He will protect his mind and heart.  He will not watch or listen to anything that causes him temptation or causes him to use women just for his own pleasure.
34. He will respect your family.
35. He will not use "I love you" lightly or to make you do something you do not want to do.
36. He will put God first, always - even over you.

  Men, strive to be all these things and more.  It will take hard work.  It will definitely take diligence and patience.  You're going to fall again and again, and it's definitely a tall order.  But you can do it.  The world is full of lies saying you can't be this man and it's not worth it to try, but you CAN be this man and WILL be worth it.  Follow God, answer to him first, and most of these things will fall into place without much effort.  You deserve these things.  You're worth so much.

  Ladies, I know it can be so hard to find such a man.  But he does exist and, if you are called to marriage, you will marry him someday and should never settle for anything less.  It doesn't mean that he's perfect - he won't be.  It doesn't mean that some things he will have to learn to do or you'll have to tell him while you guys are still friends or are discussing being in a relationship.  But by the time you are dating/courting him, he will be this man.  While you're waiting for your prince charming, try to be a woman that fits all the above criteria, too - the road runs both ways.  Be a woman that will deserve this man.  I know you have it in you.

Feel free to comment with your own ideas. :)


Rissi said...

"7. He will be secure and confident in himself. He will be whole without you. In other words, yes, you can be an example, but no, you cannot be in a relationship with someone and hope he'll change. That's his and God's job - not yours."

While ultimately, God does save... I believe people can be an influence on others, inspiring that change.

Great list, Lydia.

Lydia said...

I agree! I've known of guys who have turned out to be awesome because they had started hanging out with the right crowd and dating a girl who was a good influence. :D I just think we need to be careful and realistic with some guys, so we don't get hurt. Thank you, Rissi! ♥

Soeline said...

A great list. May be too long in my opinion. It's quite difficult to find a man who has all qualities be cause woman and man have lived a part of their life alone, with different values, and they must discover each other.
The main key is the way in which a man and a woman complement each other in my opinion. The balance of their relationship.

Xixia said...

Hello, I just stumbled upon your blog, and I really love it...especially this post.
I don't usually believe in making lists involving qualities for the guy of my dreams, since it doesn't feel right. After all, being the romantic that I am, I always like thinking that love can come from unexpected places - it's wrong to try to figure out what traits he should have. ...but there are universal qualities that a guy worthy of being a boyfriend should have. And this list has that. For some points, I think aren't as necessary, but would definitely be a bonus to have...and certainly it would help if the guy aspires to it. Anyways, I especially like #21.
And I kind of want to see a list a guy makes of qualities in his dream girl. ^^

♥ x i x i a |

Lydia said...

@Soeline: Thanks! I tried to keep the subjective qualities that I personally wanted in a man out of the list, and stick to the more basic characteristics he (and we too) should have. I agree that the two should complement each other - as long as it is healthy to the both of them. :)

@ Xixia: Thank you! I'm glad you're a fan! :D I did try to stick to universal qualities (as you put it) in this list. Some of them might be unnecessary, but I think that a guy can have all of them, ya know? WOULD be interesting for a guy to make up some qualities. I might have to see what I can do about that! ;)

AnnaKate said...

Beautiful. I love it, Lydia! These are all so great.

Lydia said...

Yay, thank you AnnaKate!! :D

Michlyn said...

This is an incredible post! I love it! :)

It definitely is inspiring to be a woman to fit the criteria above. I know you'll find your "prince charming" someday.

I love your blog!

Lydia said...

Hey Michlyn! Thanks for visiting (and following!) my blog. I'm glad you love the post. I think being the woman that fits that list is a challenge, but worth it. Thank you for your sweet words! That's very encouraging! :D

Thanks again for loving my blog! ♥