Thoughts: Confidence

Today my loves we are talking about confidence.
DUN DUN DUNNNNN.
Talking about confidence can be scary, I know.  A lot of people have so many insecurities that trying to be confident can actually be just another insecurity for them.  However, confidence is something you need to grasp a hold of as soon as you can.  It can take a while to build confidence, but as long as you're working on it that's what matters.  I know a lot of people do posts or videos about confidence (confidence, confidence, confidence - I'm going to be saying this word so much lol), so I want to give you the Lydia outlook on it. :)

1.  Identify what you are insecure about.  For most girls, and some guys even, it's outward attractiveness that gets them the most upset about themselves.  For others, it's something about themselves like not being very outgoing or feeling that they come across as too overbearing.  Whatever it is, WRITE THAT SUCKER DOWN.  Admit to yourself, "Yeah.  This is something I feel really insecure about and consider one of my flaws."  Own it girl, own it.

2. Pick some things that you like about yourself.  It may only be one thing, but choose it.  Your hair color, your personality, your eyes, your little toe's nail, whatever.  Write down some things that you like about yourself.

3. Now go back to what you are insecure about and find something about that insecurity that you can be confident in.  For example, say you are insecure about your ears.  Say something to yourself like, "Yep, I'm insecure about my ears because I think they are too big.  But I'm confident about the fact that I'm a really good listener with them."  See?  Now you have something about them that you like.  You can go on to name the things about your ears that you are thankful for, too.  "I'm thankful that I have ears.  I'm thankful that I'm not deaf.  I'm thankful that I have long hair to cover them if I want."  Also remember that as far as outward appearances go, people see you as a whole, not a bunch of parts (or they shouldn't - if they do they're really weird o.O).  Remind yourself that body parts serve a function greater than just being the prettiest - they're for eating, hearing, talking, smelling, seeing, touching, walking, holding, etc.

After you've done that last step for everything you are insecure about, you'll actually find that a lot of the things you are insecure about are pretty insignificant and you may actually begin to LIKE that unique characteristic.  And even if you are still convinced that what you are insecure about is ugly or whatever, you'll have to admit that there are a lot more good things about that flaw than there are bad.  I'm going to do another post dedicated to haters (hey y'all ;D), so keep an eye out for that.

How do you stay confident?

Thoughts: No makeup

I'm going to be honest: I like makeup, but I am getting kind of obsessive over it.
Should I wear eyeshadow today?
Should I just wear mascara?
Is it weird to be wearing makeup even when I'm at home?
Do I look too young without makeup?
Does pink or red lipstick look better today?
Would a boy think I'm pretty without makeup?
Should I wear only this colored eyeshadow, or add this color too?
Is this coraly pink color or red-ish color blush a better look on me?
Should I contour my face?
Does this makeup make me look older?
And the list goes on.
Like I said, I really like makeup.  I like watching videos of makeup tutorials to try out on myself, and then coming up with my own creations.  I even like the act of putting on makeup because it's fun to see the transformation.  But seriously - I am getting too involved with it.  It is getting to the point where I can barely go a day without eyeshadow and the whole nine yards or else I feel kind of self-conscious.  So I've decided to give myself a challenge - I'm going to stop wearing makeup until I feel comfortable enough to go places without it on and feel confident in my natural, God-given beauty.  Now I'm not saying I'm going to go cold turkey.  For right now, I'm just not going to wear makeup at home but maybe add some eyeliner/mascara when I go out.  But eventually, I'm going to be able to wear no makeup and feel just as good about myself as if I had it on.  I know a lot of girls who don't wear makeup, actually.  In fact, I didn't wear much myself until last year (when I discovered eyeliner to completely surround my eyes) and this summer (when I started using eyeshadow).  So it's not like it's alien to me.  It's just...I need a break.  Everything is good in moderation, and I am becoming a makeup glutton. 

Do you feel confident without makeup?

Thoughts: Let's not hate on other girls.

   It's amazing what happens in people's lives to make them who they are.

   Recently, I saw an interview with Rihanna and Oprah (which you probably have all seen), and Rihanna says she is still in love with Chris Brown.  She says she felt so bad because she had lost a best friend, and that he would need her because everyone felt like he was the villain and nobody else would help him.  We all have to remember that Chris Brown beat Rihanna up a while back, and no matter what she did or didn't do, she did not (and nobody) deserves that treatment.

  I had never liked Rihanna.  I felt her music perpetuated dangerous sexual scenarios, was vulgar and degrading to women (not freeing), encouraged girls to act like an object men could use the way they want, and told girls that abusive relationships and hooking up were things that didn't need much thought after all.  I thought she talked, dressed, and danced inappropriately.  To be honest, I still feel this way. But I didn't even feel that sorry for her because I thought it was all just a show and a way to make money at the expense of young girls.

  In that Oprah interview, though, I saw someone different.  I didn't see this hardcore "I can do anything a boy can do" sexualized Rihanna.  I saw a hurt, used, sad, confused little girl.  I saw someone who is broken like everyone else.  She didn't turn into the girl in her music videos overnight.  Ribanna went through whatever she did as a child and young adult to become the person who didn't see her value, didn't see her real God-given beauty, didn't see the type of man she should be with and almost got killed because of it.

  I think as girls, we need to stop being such haters.  Girls are the way the are because of the experiences that happened to them.  The person you see on the outside is probably very different from the person on the inside.  It doesn't mean you have to like what they do or even the person them self, but don't be mean to them.  Don't say things in anger and jealousy.  Just smile at them, pray for them, and ask yourself, "I wonder what she went through?"

Have you ever had an eye-opening experience about someone?

P.S. Are the results for the poll on the left showing up for you guys?  I know that they had been working yesterday when I checked so it may just be a fluke.

Picture from Pinterest.com 

Ready or Not || Guest post by Brooklyn

  I don’t like talking in front of people. I don’t get where I am going to vomit when I get in front of people, but I still don’t like it. My voice gets really shaky when I read aloud a long bible verse. I often times go completely blank in the middle of a prayer. But what I have come to realize is the more you try, the better it gets. It becomes easier. Last summer I went to church camp for a week. When we got back our youth leaders asked us to get up and tell about our experience. They said we didn’t have too, but I felt like I needed too. I then for a solid week straight sat in my room and practiced what I was going to say. When the Sunday night came we all walked up on stage and sat where the choir would normally sit. A few people went and then it was my turn. With butterflies in my stomach I got up, grabbed the microphone and started. And then all of a sudden, I went completely blank.  So I repeated my last sentence thinking surely it would come to me. But again blank. I froze, looked down at my paper that I had written and found my spot. I finished very quickly from there and walked back to my seat. And guess what I did? I cried. I couldn’t hold back the tears. 

Thoughts: Beauty posts should build confidence.

  I've been doing a lot of beauty/fashion posts lately, and there was something I thought I better clear up.  When I talk about makeup, hairstyles, accessories, shoes, or the latest "in" top, I want you guys to realize I'm not saying buying this is "necessary" or will make you pretty. I don't ever want to make anybody on my blog feel bad - I want to help build confidence. 
  If I've gotten an expensive bag or ring for my birthday, it's not a way of bragging and saying "Look what I have that you'll never have".  You don't have to wear "exactly" what I wear. You don't even have to really like fashion!  You might just like the photos I post.  Whatever you like, the posts I make about what I wear or what I've bought are supposed to give you ideas - whether you can buy a thousand of the items I have, or never will be able to afford that exact piece.  It's supposed to inspire you in your own style and in the places you shop.  

  I'm also thinking about doing makeup posts later on.  However, please don't feel like you're less than if you don't like to wear makeup.  Makeup is supposed to accentuate what you have.  It's not supposed to create a "Lydia-like" mask.  I like wearing makeup because it makes me feel more girly and put together.  But  that's not to say that I'm suggesting you will only look pretty if you wear it or you will only attract boys if you wear a specific lipstick.  I'm not suggesting you "sexualize" yourself so others will like you.  You're beautiful with and without makeup.  If you like yourself better without it, please by all means never wear it! 

   Makeup and fashion, for me, is fun.  It's a creative outlet.  It's a way of piecing different items together to create a pretty outfit, or using different eye shadows in pretty colors because it's fun.  I know I have readers from all over the world with all sorts of socio-economic backgrounds and esteem issues.  Please realize my beauty posts are for fun, and something you should use to make yourself feel confident - not to make you feel bad about yourself.  Please remember that life on this earth is not all about material things or about being the hottest person around.  You're a wonderful, perfect human being no matter what you are wearing or what your face looks like.

Why do you like/post about makeup and fashion?

Thoughts: I'm an introvert.

  The other day I was fangirling over Owl City (that happens a lot) and I ran across a post Adam Young (the mastermind behind Owl City) had written about the 10 Myths About Introverts.  You can read the myths and Adam's responses to them HERE.  He talks about how he never really thought of himself as an introvert, even though everyone would basically describe him that way. 

  On that note, I always though I was more of an extrovert.  I mean, since I always liked to go out places, I figured I was more social.  But after reading the list of myths Adam talks about (and taking this quiz HERE to see if I was an introvert or extrovert) I realized people act that way towards me and that I really am an introvert.  The truth is, when I go out I generally like to go by myself, or with just a person (like my sister) or two (maybe one of my parents or another friend) to small places like a cafe, library, or grocery store even.  But I'm not a huge fan of hanging out in big groups, especially with kids I don't know (or like) that well.  I also like one on one time better, because I like that better.  We have each others' full attention, and I get really nervous around people I don't know, which apparently  doesn't show because my family rolls their eyes and are like "Yeah, Lydia's always nervous."  The other people are entertaining to me (for short time periods) but I tend to start watching them like it's a TV show which comes off as a little bit rude or judgmental, or people think I'm unapproachable.  I'm really friendly! People like me, and like to be around me.  I just have a FEW close friends.  I smile, laugh, and talk a lot - with people I know well and like.  I've had people say that I've given them mean looks before, and the only thing I can figure is that I was in my own world and thinking when I looked up at them. 

  So like the article said, I'm not weird.  I'm not even unfriendly.  I just don't care for parties, loud noises, clubs,  groups of people, drinking, or things like that.  I just like being alone.  With my music.  Or a book.  Or with one or maybe two close friends that I can REALLY trust and have stuff in common with.  I like driving just for the sake of being independent and going to the grocery store.  I like meeting new people and learning about how they think, and see what they wear and what music they listen to.  I just don't have to be AROUND them all the time.  I like going some place kinda low key and "hippyish" and having a good time - then go home and have some alone time.  I like blogging, reading, listening to music, thinking, playing music, driving, watching TV, sewing, reading magazines, trying new hairstyles and makeup, coming up with new outfits.  THEN I can go out and show off what outfits I've come up with.  See how it works?

  And I like that!  I like not feeling like I HAVE to do that stuff.  It's cool!  And it's just as cool for people to be extroverts.  I'll be me and you be you.  It's freeing, isn't it? :)

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Picture from Pinterest.com

Thoughts: You can't lose a true friend.

My mom said this recently: "You can't lose a true friend."
And you know what?
You can't.
It's kind of hard to get your head wrapped around, but think of it.

A true friend....
1. Does not lie about you, to you, or about other people. 
2. Will not be mean to you or about you.  If they have done something insensitive, they will apologize (and mean it) as soon as they realized they have hurt your feelings.
3. Will not accept other people who are being mean to you - because if you are a true friend, they will know that this other person is just out of line.
4. Will add to the relationship.  They will not always be taking from you.
5. Will respect you and your morals, even if they are different from theirs.
6. They will not ignore you.  They might get busy, but if they will not purposely avoid you for no reason.

Now think of everything you think a true friend is.  No matter what you can come up with to be mad at them about, most things that would ruin a relationship is premeditated and mean on the other person's part.  That's not a true friend. So you can't lose real ones.  You might both get busy at times and not be able to talk or hang out as much as you used to.  You might have a disagreement or squabble like you do with your family members, but it won't tear you apart.  You shouldn't have to worry about someone lying, being mean, being a bully, being selfish, or being rude to you because a true friend doesn't do that.  If you feel like you are losing a friend, it might be time to question if they are a friend in the first place.  It might just be time to let this friend impostor go.

What do YOU think a true friend is like?

P.S.  Tomorrow is the last day to sign up for the Woven Bracelet giveaway.  Enter today at this link! :)

Thoughts: Why do girls care about "being beautiful"?

  An interesting question was posed the other night when my family and I were watching America's Got Talent.  Edon, a singer in the competition, sang "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction (possibly the most catchy song ever).  The question posed was this - "Why do all girls long to be told they are beautiful, especially by a boy?"

  I'd never really thought about this.  My first answer was that the media pushes girls to be beautiful and if they do not match "worldly" standards (or do not think they do) they tend to feel less than.  My mom pointed out that this was not really true, because even in the Bible women wanted to be beautiful, and there was no media in those days (though there may have been some pressure from society).   

  So why is that?  Why do girls (myself included) feel such a need for approval from boys our age?  If we have not had a father figure to tell us we are beautiful, the need is even worse.  But I've found that all girls, no matter what type of family they come from, have this same, universal need -"Just tell me I'm beautiful."  Is it because we all have a bit of insecurity about this issue?  If so, why is it still such a big deal to us?  Guys have a need to feel important, strong, and capable.  But they still don't usually have a need to feel beautiful.  Maybe it's because, generally, women are the prettiest creations.  Maybe we recognize this and when nobody has pointed out we're pretty we automatically assume we're not.  Maybe it's different personalities and levels of confidence that make some girls needier of this than others.  Maybe it's a trust issue - that it's not enough for just one person to tell us how nice we look because they might be lying.  We need more and more confirmation.

The bottom line is that I wish women would not seek this attention from guys that are unworthy of them - guys who will just make the girls feel worse about themselves.  This need for affirmation is something we need to fix in ourselves somehow.  Because girls, you may think a boy's affections are the answer to your insecurity, but unless you are fully at peace with yourself and how you look the relationship will just crash and burn.  Remember, we're all beautiful because we are humans made in God's image.  And the most "comely" face is ruined if the heart is not being cared for.

Why do you think girls long to be told they are beautiful?

P.S.  Have you guys been liking these sort of advice/thought posts I've been doing (the last one was here)?  Let me know in the comments.  Also, don't forget about the giveaway I'm hosting here.  You have no chance of winning if you don't enter. :)

Thoughts: The Guy of Your Dreams.

What should the guy you marry someday be like? Here's a list I made, in no particular order:

1. He will not make fun of you.  He will build you up and edify you.  If something you are doing is wrong, he will criticise you gently for your own good - not to make himself feel better.
2. He will appreciate you.
3. He will talk good about you in your presence as well as your absence.
4. He will care about you.
5. He will be respectful of your feelings.  We all make mistakes, but he will never try to purposely hurt you.
 6. He will know that you alone are the girl he is dating/courting/married to, and will purposely divert his eyes from other women.7. He will be secure and confident in himself.  He will be whole without you.  In other words,  yes, you can be an example, but no, you cannot be in a relationship with someone and hope he'll change.  That's his and God's job - not yours.
8. He will not cheat on you.
9. He will not manipulate you.
10. He will think of your needs above his own